Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dallas BBQ (New York City)



Dallas BBQ
1265 3rd Avenue
New York, NY 10021

Several years ago my friend lived by a liquor store in Venice Beach. One night we ran out of beer and headed over there just before closing. The only other customer in the place was an obviously homeless, deranged man who was lecturing about God to a bag of Funyuns. My friend and I were trying to decide what to buy (as if it made a difference at that point) and my friend made a comment about Steel Reserve, something along the lines of "that's supposed to be terrible."

At that point the bum interrupted his sermon and turned to us and said "Oh man, don't get Steel Reserve. That shit make you crazy!"

So we bought a can, and, indeed, it was the most foul thing I have ever tasted.

I thought of this story after eating at Dallas BBQ. I had wanted to eat at Blue Smoke, but the wait was about two hours and I was hungry. So my friend and I got in a cab and asked the driver to take us to a barbecue place. This is where he took us, and, after I paid him, he added (not too helpfully) "But you probably don't want to eat here, it'll make you sick to your stomach." And indeed it did.

To be fair, as soon as we saw the food we should have left. My pulled pork was a disgusting looking mess, served on a bun about four inches thick. My friend's ribs were drowning in a nasty sauce. I don't know how anyone can serve food like this to customers.

So from now on, I will always listen to deranged men on matters of malt liquor and cab drivers on barbecue.

5 comments:

BBQ-Gril said...

Dear PulledPorker,

You talk a good talk, but I would actually like to see you throw down and cook something yourself. I think you might find some of your "mediocre" restaurants ran smoke rings around your rump.

Anonymous said...

Having an ability to do something and being able to judge good vs. bad don't necessarily go hand-in-hand... lacking one doesn't mean you can't possess the other...

Examples:
One could appreciate great porn without having been a porn star (or even participated in a neighbors "home movie"...)

You don't need to be a "brewmaster" to know that Mickey's Big Mouth is best consumed before you're legally able (or can afford) to buy other beers...

You don't need to own a directorial Oscar to know that using your Netflix account to rent "Yentil" is a tremendous waste of time and money...

Lastly, you don't need to be Glenn Scobey Warner (aka "Pop") to know that the UCLA bRuins are gonna finish with 3 wins this year.

PulledPorker said...

Wow. I wasn't going to reply to the orginal comment, because that whole "can you do better?" mantra is a lazy person's response... but ripping on UCLA football, Mickey's Big Mouth, and Yentil? Ouch. That's dirty pool.

Anonymous said...

This "thread" naturally begs the question - Which is worse?

Spending a random Saturday drinking a Micks Biggie, while watching the bRuins, tossing down a McRib or 2, and then settling in for the evening with Yentil on the telly.

Or,

Finding the love of your life, connecting on every possible level (mentally, physically, spiritually) and then one random night after eating a lovely meal at Applebees, you settle into bed and your 20-something dream girl pulls out her dentures and puts them in a cup of Effordent on the nightstand.

PulledPorker said...

Seeing as how both scenarios happen to me with unsettling frequency, I am uniquely qualified to answer. The second scenario is worse (but at least it's a better bar story.)